Posts Tagged ‘Dream’

I used to dream of being a doctor. When I was a kid, I always strive to get good grades in hopes that my folks would send me to a med school. Unfortunately, I came to the realization that this dream will forever remain a dream. I never seemed to regret the thought of never achieving that dream. I’m fine with what I have right now, and I do not aspire to go that way anymore. It somehow scares me.

You know what’s even ironic? I’m scared of going to the doctor now. I am neither sure if this is normal or of I’m just a big fat coward or if this is a disorder. I have no way of knowing, I’m scared to go.

Today I face a huge dilemma that has haunted me for a few days now. I feel ill but I do not wish to see a specialist. I’m afraid to face my fears and I’m freaking out about the illnesses that might get to me one day. The reason why I’m scared? I just do not know.

At the moment, the Hematuria has passed. I do not see any strain of blood anymore aside from menstrual blood, which of course is supposed to be there for time being. Fortunately, I have not eluded the fangs of Dysuria just yet. The last time I had this was back in February. It was awful. Fighting back the urge to scream on top of your lungs while in the restroom. Everytime I go to the restroom, I preempt the pain I will have to go through. It goes away sometime, then it comes back. I have to constantly drink water to keep myself sane. And here I am after a few months, struggling to fight the same urge to scream.

For those who have yet to be in the shoes I wear today, please do your best to prevent it. There are lots of materials over the net that discuss the matter and end of the line for most, if not all, of them is to consult to your specialist. It’s possible that my lifestyle has an effect to the occurrence of this problem in me after all.  Nevertheless, I have yet to discover the reason for this. Apparently if I continue being a coward, I would not be able to know what needs to be done and the cause of such occurrence.